Robert,
I want to try to write down all that you are saying these days at the age of 1 1/2.
Mom
Daddy
Harry
Milk
Spider
Cow
Quack
Kitty
Boat
Ball
Please (peas)
my
truck
bus
balloon
butterfly
bug
doggy
puppy
giraffe
sunshine
kitty in box
bath
bottle
elephant
pumpkin
hat
birdie
star
nose
eyes
Einstein
tiger
water
leaf
tree
I think there are even more, but I can't think of them right now. Your first phrase was "my bottle" and you have more now. There is also a great deal that you can understand. You like helping Mommy and in fact you call me either Mom (like Harry does) or Mun-ee. You call your father, Daddy most of the time. You are already a very good communicator. Your words are not totally clear, but you can make yourself understoood and slowly but surely people outside the family are beginning to understand you a well.
Okay, that's it for now. Your brother is home from school and so things are about to get exciting (you are still napping since you went down for your nap a little late today). Sweet dreams, my sweetest of boys.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Things that go bump in the night.
Fall is here and that means many things. The weather is getting cooler in the mornings. I can't tell you how many mornings now Harry you go off to school with a warm jacket and how many afternoons you come off the bus without said jacket. Maybe once it is colder in the afternoons too you will return with you jacket more days than not.
Harry, you are going to be an alien for Halloween this year. You wanted to be something scary and you are indeed a sight to behold. It was frustrating when we went to the halloween party last week and the older boys said your costume wasn't scary. I hope it didn't hurt your feelings too much. You seemed to have a good time once some more of your school friends appeared. You are in a funny stage where you want to be scary, but the scary costumes on other children sometimes terrify you to the point of tears. I love this about you, maybe because I can see my own self in you. I spent many hours lost in my imagination and sometimes emerging into the "real" world was difficult and jarring. You are now at a point too, where we can read something to you or you can watch something which you will not find to be scary until the evening when you are trying to fall asleep. Yet you are such a sweet and obedient (and probably tired) boy that what usually happens is you come downstairs and tell us you are scared and when we reassure you, you go right back up to bed. I hope that it will always be so easy to reassure you.
Robert, you are going to be Tigger. Harry was tigger too when he was your age. It is a cute costume. So far children in costumes haven't scared you. I can't think of things that really scare you much, sometimes a loud noise will take you unaware and you'll cry, but mostly right now you are too busy exploring the world to stop and be scared. I think Harry was this way too - I remember how he gave out Halloween candy the year he was your age, he didn't even realize what he was giving away. You will know what Halloween candy is, because unlike your big brother you have been exposed to sweets earlier and you love them. Grampy gave you your first pack of M&Ms a month or so back and you loved them. I doled them out to you slowly, but I think you would have been willing to eat them all at once.
Our house is a loud place at the best of times, but right now they are working on painting it and so it was especially loud yesterday. The painters (there were up to 5 of them at times), where sanding and scraping and climbing ladders and chatting (in Russian) and yet Robert slept peacefully for an especially long nap. It is amazing to me what a child can sleep through. I've had a few friends who could sleep almost anywhere, but I must admit that I am not a very good napper. I sometimes think it would be a useful skill, but really just don't have the time at the moment anyway. Speaking of time, I need to push on with laundry and finish my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow. I will write again soon, dear ones.
Harry, you are going to be an alien for Halloween this year. You wanted to be something scary and you are indeed a sight to behold. It was frustrating when we went to the halloween party last week and the older boys said your costume wasn't scary. I hope it didn't hurt your feelings too much. You seemed to have a good time once some more of your school friends appeared. You are in a funny stage where you want to be scary, but the scary costumes on other children sometimes terrify you to the point of tears. I love this about you, maybe because I can see my own self in you. I spent many hours lost in my imagination and sometimes emerging into the "real" world was difficult and jarring. You are now at a point too, where we can read something to you or you can watch something which you will not find to be scary until the evening when you are trying to fall asleep. Yet you are such a sweet and obedient (and probably tired) boy that what usually happens is you come downstairs and tell us you are scared and when we reassure you, you go right back up to bed. I hope that it will always be so easy to reassure you.
Robert, you are going to be Tigger. Harry was tigger too when he was your age. It is a cute costume. So far children in costumes haven't scared you. I can't think of things that really scare you much, sometimes a loud noise will take you unaware and you'll cry, but mostly right now you are too busy exploring the world to stop and be scared. I think Harry was this way too - I remember how he gave out Halloween candy the year he was your age, he didn't even realize what he was giving away. You will know what Halloween candy is, because unlike your big brother you have been exposed to sweets earlier and you love them. Grampy gave you your first pack of M&Ms a month or so back and you loved them. I doled them out to you slowly, but I think you would have been willing to eat them all at once.
Our house is a loud place at the best of times, but right now they are working on painting it and so it was especially loud yesterday. The painters (there were up to 5 of them at times), where sanding and scraping and climbing ladders and chatting (in Russian) and yet Robert slept peacefully for an especially long nap. It is amazing to me what a child can sleep through. I've had a few friends who could sleep almost anywhere, but I must admit that I am not a very good napper. I sometimes think it would be a useful skill, but really just don't have the time at the moment anyway. Speaking of time, I need to push on with laundry and finish my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow. I will write again soon, dear ones.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Normals
Just another average day. Daddy is home from his conference and we are all trying to get back into "normal". That is one thing I have learned since you two arrived in my life. There are many versions of normal and all of them are acceptable.
Right now Robert, you are napping. I have so far switched toys out for you (I keep some toys in different places throughout the house and occasionally move them around). I brought up some things from the basement that you haven't seen in a while and hopefully these will entertain you. I have also picked apart a chicken, cleaned the kitchen, made black beans and rice and done load of laundry. I try to get things done while you sleep so when you are awake I can play with you. Of course we still do chores together. These days you like having a cloth of your own to follow along and help. This morning you actually emptied the laundry hamper into a laundry basket. I hope these helpful urges continue. Harry, you never really did those things. It is amazing to me how different you two can be and how similar at the same time.
I have started this blog hoping that someday you can look at this and read about what life was like growing up. My mother died over 2 years ago now. Harry you may perhaps remember Mimi, but Robert she was gone by the time you were born. Right after Mimi died, Harry, you used to say that when you were six (which seemed very old to you then), you would get your superpowers and fly up to heaven and bring Mimi back to Grampy. It was a wonderful idea and full of your typically generous heart. Unfortunately, we will have to wait for Mimi until we all meet God face to face.
At any rate, I miss my mom, some days more than others. I understand now how much she must have missed having a mom when she was raising Jessica and I (she was 8 & 11 when her parents died). There are so many things I would like to ask her. Sometimes you ask me about something and I can't remember, but I know that mom would. So maybe this will give you somewhere to look, if I manage to be somewhat diligent. I will also try my hardest not to embarass you.
So what is life like in general? Well, we are a clergy family, which means that we take our Christianity seriously. I don't believe that since your dad is a priest that means we should be more serious Christians than others, but there is a common misconception out there that this is true. As with any Christian, my faith and belief in God is a serious commitment for me. When I was baptised and again when I was confirmed I promised to do my best to follow Jesus and the Christian faith. God comes first in my life and your father's life, but family is a close second. I have learned so much about the love of God since becoming mother. I think I could have learned that without becoming a mother, but it sure helped me figure out what love, sacrifice and giving are all about.
So how does being Christian make us different? Well we pray. We say grace and bedtime prayers wherever we may be eating or sleeping. We also pray at other times during the day. We try to be loving and caring and to see God working in the world. One of my mantras is that I will always try to remember that every soul I meet is fighting his or her own battle, so I need to be gentle and loving in how I treat them. I wish I could say that I am always successful, but I at least try.
What else is life like in this house? Right now it is a busy, loud place. You are both active boys and you are both talkers. Harry at six you have an amazing imagination and vocabulary. I think you only spend about 1/2 your time with us, because the other half is spent spinning some adventure. Robert, you are just learning to talk, but you are practicing all the time now. I don't always understand you, but you seem to be learning a word a day right now. You make lots of noise babbling, humming and singing. Your dad and I are more quiet (although I have learned to yell in the past few years, just to be heard). My favorite relaxation is a cup of tea and a good book. I also like to get moving - playing tennis or working out at the gym. Your dad loves the chance to lie on the couch and watch one of his teams or to go play a round of golf.
Like most people our life centers around a school/work schedule. Since dad works on Sundays, his days off are Friday and Saturday. I try to save one of those days for no chores, but that doesn't always work. Being a stay at home parent is a privilege, but more work than I would have expected. Robert is too little for school, but Harry you are now a first grader.
I have always been a long letter writer, but I think I should probably end here. That gives you a window into life and I will be telling more as the days and weeks go on.
Right now Robert, you are napping. I have so far switched toys out for you (I keep some toys in different places throughout the house and occasionally move them around). I brought up some things from the basement that you haven't seen in a while and hopefully these will entertain you. I have also picked apart a chicken, cleaned the kitchen, made black beans and rice and done load of laundry. I try to get things done while you sleep so when you are awake I can play with you. Of course we still do chores together. These days you like having a cloth of your own to follow along and help. This morning you actually emptied the laundry hamper into a laundry basket. I hope these helpful urges continue. Harry, you never really did those things. It is amazing to me how different you two can be and how similar at the same time.
I have started this blog hoping that someday you can look at this and read about what life was like growing up. My mother died over 2 years ago now. Harry you may perhaps remember Mimi, but Robert she was gone by the time you were born. Right after Mimi died, Harry, you used to say that when you were six (which seemed very old to you then), you would get your superpowers and fly up to heaven and bring Mimi back to Grampy. It was a wonderful idea and full of your typically generous heart. Unfortunately, we will have to wait for Mimi until we all meet God face to face.
At any rate, I miss my mom, some days more than others. I understand now how much she must have missed having a mom when she was raising Jessica and I (she was 8 & 11 when her parents died). There are so many things I would like to ask her. Sometimes you ask me about something and I can't remember, but I know that mom would. So maybe this will give you somewhere to look, if I manage to be somewhat diligent. I will also try my hardest not to embarass you.
So what is life like in general? Well, we are a clergy family, which means that we take our Christianity seriously. I don't believe that since your dad is a priest that means we should be more serious Christians than others, but there is a common misconception out there that this is true. As with any Christian, my faith and belief in God is a serious commitment for me. When I was baptised and again when I was confirmed I promised to do my best to follow Jesus and the Christian faith. God comes first in my life and your father's life, but family is a close second. I have learned so much about the love of God since becoming mother. I think I could have learned that without becoming a mother, but it sure helped me figure out what love, sacrifice and giving are all about.
So how does being Christian make us different? Well we pray. We say grace and bedtime prayers wherever we may be eating or sleeping. We also pray at other times during the day. We try to be loving and caring and to see God working in the world. One of my mantras is that I will always try to remember that every soul I meet is fighting his or her own battle, so I need to be gentle and loving in how I treat them. I wish I could say that I am always successful, but I at least try.
What else is life like in this house? Right now it is a busy, loud place. You are both active boys and you are both talkers. Harry at six you have an amazing imagination and vocabulary. I think you only spend about 1/2 your time with us, because the other half is spent spinning some adventure. Robert, you are just learning to talk, but you are practicing all the time now. I don't always understand you, but you seem to be learning a word a day right now. You make lots of noise babbling, humming and singing. Your dad and I are more quiet (although I have learned to yell in the past few years, just to be heard). My favorite relaxation is a cup of tea and a good book. I also like to get moving - playing tennis or working out at the gym. Your dad loves the chance to lie on the couch and watch one of his teams or to go play a round of golf.
Like most people our life centers around a school/work schedule. Since dad works on Sundays, his days off are Friday and Saturday. I try to save one of those days for no chores, but that doesn't always work. Being a stay at home parent is a privilege, but more work than I would have expected. Robert is too little for school, but Harry you are now a first grader.
I have always been a long letter writer, but I think I should probably end here. That gives you a window into life and I will be telling more as the days and weeks go on.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The love of God
Today was Sunday and so we were in church. Your father is still away at his conference so there was a different priest preaching. The gospel was about the young man who asks Jesus what he should do to get eternal life and Jesus responds that he should give away everything and follow Him. The young man walks away despondent.
The preacher did a good job with his sermon and I enjoyed listening to him preach. However, there was a point where he talked about how we "earn" the love of God. I don't know why but it struck me as something I just can't quite agree with. God loves us, no matter what we do. I hope that someday you will feel like you did not have to earn my love, I love you because you are my sons. You didn't have to earn that love, much like you don't have to earn God's love. God (ever so much more than your father or I) loves you for all of yourself. God has been calling you into a relationship since before I even knew you had begun in my womb. At least that is the God that I pray to and I have learned about over the years. I think of it as my job to try to show you God's love and I know that I fail in it, but I promise I'll keep trying. Sometimes I tell you, Harry, that I am going to just go on and you can stay up in your room, because I am tired of waiting for you. When my frustration shows through in this way, I am always brought back to myself by your response. You tell me that I won't go without you because you are my child and I simply wouldn't do that.
This makes me happy and I am glad you are confident enough to say this. It makes me realize despite my failings that you are becoming a boy who knows that he is loved. That is what it is to know God. God loves us, not because we did the right thing (although he rejoices in our goodness), but because we are His children. God invites everybody into relationship, not just the people who please God.
Finally, I want to relate to you something you taught me this weekend about God. You said that all people know God, just some don't know God through Jesus. I can't remember anymore how this came up or what we were discussing. But you are often reminding me that children really are closer to God. I remember as a child talking to God and I know that you do this too, Harry. You told your Sunday School teachers about that today. God was very real to me when I was little in a way God isn't today. I am glad for you in this relationship. I know it will change, but I hope that it will for a basis for a faith that feeds and strengthens you throughout your life.
Well, it is getting late so I will wish you the sweetest of dreams for my sweet, sweet boys.
Mommy
The preacher did a good job with his sermon and I enjoyed listening to him preach. However, there was a point where he talked about how we "earn" the love of God. I don't know why but it struck me as something I just can't quite agree with. God loves us, no matter what we do. I hope that someday you will feel like you did not have to earn my love, I love you because you are my sons. You didn't have to earn that love, much like you don't have to earn God's love. God (ever so much more than your father or I) loves you for all of yourself. God has been calling you into a relationship since before I even knew you had begun in my womb. At least that is the God that I pray to and I have learned about over the years. I think of it as my job to try to show you God's love and I know that I fail in it, but I promise I'll keep trying. Sometimes I tell you, Harry, that I am going to just go on and you can stay up in your room, because I am tired of waiting for you. When my frustration shows through in this way, I am always brought back to myself by your response. You tell me that I won't go without you because you are my child and I simply wouldn't do that.
This makes me happy and I am glad you are confident enough to say this. It makes me realize despite my failings that you are becoming a boy who knows that he is loved. That is what it is to know God. God loves us, not because we did the right thing (although he rejoices in our goodness), but because we are His children. God invites everybody into relationship, not just the people who please God.
Finally, I want to relate to you something you taught me this weekend about God. You said that all people know God, just some don't know God through Jesus. I can't remember anymore how this came up or what we were discussing. But you are often reminding me that children really are closer to God. I remember as a child talking to God and I know that you do this too, Harry. You told your Sunday School teachers about that today. God was very real to me when I was little in a way God isn't today. I am glad for you in this relationship. I know it will change, but I hope that it will for a basis for a faith that feeds and strengthens you throughout your life.
Well, it is getting late so I will wish you the sweetest of dreams for my sweet, sweet boys.
Mommy
Friday, October 9, 2009
Starting Out
Boys,
I have been thinking about a way to share and keep memories of your childhood. At the same time I want to allow some of our friends and family to learn more about you. I have tried a blog before, but it was never in a format with which I am comfortable. Then I realized recently that I love writing letters and so I am going to write you letters.
I have been a mother now for 6 1/2 years. It isn't a role I really expected in my life, but I think I have gotten better at it over time. I love being your mother and you are both wonderful, quirky little boys. I would like to say that I remember the feeling of being a mother from the moment you were put in my arms, Harry, but that isn't really true. I had post partum depression after you were born and those first few months were very difficult. I don't remember a time in my life when I was so prone to tears and doubts. Fortunately now, looking back those many years, I don't remember all the horror. I know I was lucky because I discovered my ppd early and got treatment quickly. I also had ppd with you, Robert, but I was already on medication and we simply upped the dosage and it was a very small blip on the radar screen.
Speaking of my dear baby (right now you are 18 months). You are waking up from your nap. Luckily we have a half an hour for cuddle time before we need to get Harry from the bus. So I am going to go get you and write you another note later.
I have been thinking about a way to share and keep memories of your childhood. At the same time I want to allow some of our friends and family to learn more about you. I have tried a blog before, but it was never in a format with which I am comfortable. Then I realized recently that I love writing letters and so I am going to write you letters.
I have been a mother now for 6 1/2 years. It isn't a role I really expected in my life, but I think I have gotten better at it over time. I love being your mother and you are both wonderful, quirky little boys. I would like to say that I remember the feeling of being a mother from the moment you were put in my arms, Harry, but that isn't really true. I had post partum depression after you were born and those first few months were very difficult. I don't remember a time in my life when I was so prone to tears and doubts. Fortunately now, looking back those many years, I don't remember all the horror. I know I was lucky because I discovered my ppd early and got treatment quickly. I also had ppd with you, Robert, but I was already on medication and we simply upped the dosage and it was a very small blip on the radar screen.
Speaking of my dear baby (right now you are 18 months). You are waking up from your nap. Luckily we have a half an hour for cuddle time before we need to get Harry from the bus. So I am going to go get you and write you another note later.
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